Monday, September 6, 2010

Sometimes a girl just wants to have fun..

My world is so serious at the moment :( life is just full of stuff that's messy and complicated or sad and confusing or all of the above and I find myself spending much of my time crying or feeling overwhelmed or sleeping.. It is just one of those seasons where my life is full on and demanding and I constantly feel pulled in one direction or the other. At first my reaction was to stop my world and invest my time and energy into all that was going on, into the people that needed me.. but I am not the answer to anything that's going on, they're not even my problems so trying to be the solution just left me feeling exhausted and cranky and unsocial and blah. Then this amazing thing happened, the world intervened and pulled me out of hiding and back to me..

Over the last week I realised something incredibly important, I realised that sometimes a girl just needs to have some fun. Sometimes I just need to do a dance class, to go to a birthday party, to do a workshop, to spend Sunday afternoon in bed. I realised that no matter what is going on in my world, no matter how sad or frightening, I still need to be me and I still need to get out. I realised that time with old friends laughing and dancing the night away can be more restoring for the soul than an early night at home. Sometimes all you actually need is some bad RnB, a cute dress and good friends, sometimes that is the solution. Sometimes it's about reconnecting with the people you love and who love you, not to talk about what's going on, not to cry on their shoulder but to dance, to laugh, to hug, to be silly, to smile.

I realised that in the midst of all the pain and frustration there can be joy and happiness in simple things like seeing your best friends face light up when you arrive at her birthday party because even though the room is full she has been waiting for the two of you to arrive. Like feeling your soul leap for joy when you realise that no matter what is going on these friendships remain the same, you remain the same and these friends don't need anything from you except for you to be there with them and being there is easy, being there is what you need. There is nothing quite like the realisation that these people who have known you forever truly know you even when you feel like you have lost yourself in the seriousness of your life and their love has the power to bring you out of yourself and back to life.

After a night of dancing with my best friends I feel like me again. After what felt like weeks of staring at a blank page I am writing, yesterday I wrote for 5 hours, stopping only to feed my dog and I could have written all night if wisdom hadn't intervened and sent me to bed. My hand is even itching to draw. I am engaging in my life. I am investing in me and for the first time in a long time I feel free. Yet the seriousness of my world has not actually changed, the mess is still there, the sad situations are better but still remain.. what is interesting is that they don't feel as heavy or as big, they don't consume me and I don't feel as sad. I guess what has changed is me. I am me again and I am so thankful for my beautiful best friends who took the time to dance and laugh and love me back to life.

It is so easy to get lost in your life, to get lost in the world when times are hard but if we let it life will bring us back. If we let them our friends will love us back to ourselves. If we allow it joy will sneak in and save us from the sadness. I pray that this week we will take a moment to find an old friend and spend time with that friend doing something simple, something fun xx

1 comment: