Thursday, September 23, 2010

My Sister

My sister is my best friend. She has been my best friend since she was born. I was at the hospital when she arrived and we've been somewhat inseparable ever since. She has that place in my heart that can only be occupied by a sister. Sometimes I love her so much that I think my heart will burst with joy, other times I love her so much I want to shake her until she sees sense but no matter what I love her completely. She is one of my favourite people to spend time with and one of the few people that I can do anything with and still have fun. She knows me, sometimes better than I know myself and I trust her with my life. I know without a doubt that she would do anything for me if it meant that I would be spared from pain and I would do anything for her. She is my inspiration.

From the moment I set eyes on the wrinkly little creature with her big brown eyes, her head of dark hair and her tiny little face, I knew that my life would be forever changed. I knew that no longer was I Melinda the only child, I was now a big sister. Being a big sister has shaped my life, it has made me a better person.

At five and a half I knew that my life would be better because of this little girl and at 27 I know that to be true. For almost 22 years I have had this beautiful little girl watch my every move, I am her example, the person she watches to determine what to do and what not to do and that has driven me.

Sometimes it has driven me made like when we were playing barbies when at 8 and I discovered the joys of having a little sister who wanted to play with every doll I touched. At 8 I couldn't appreciate that she just wanted to be like me because she loved me, instead the madness of not being able to play with my favourite doll eventually this drove me to play with the crap barbie first because she would demand to play with whatever I had picked up first and if I played with the crap barbie first she would play with the crap barbie all day (clearly I was not nice at 8). It also drove me mad when I at 13 thought I was too cool to play with her anymore and I just wanted to be with my friends. At that time I discovered the joy of having a little sister who wanted to sit in my room with me and my friends while we read magazines and talked about boys only to have her later tell my mum everything we spoke about (oh the horror!). I have a million stories of how she drove me mad.

But amongst all the madness I never stopped loving her and I remember wanting her to know that she could do anything, that the only limitation was her mind. The only way I knew to teach her to do anything was to live it myself, so I did. I said yes to everything that looked fun, to everything that you were supposed to want. As a teenager I did drama and debating and art and all sorts of stuff. As a young adult I went out and got a career, I dragged her along travelling, I dragged her out to foreign films, to the theatre, to nice restaurants. I went out and achieved as much as I could to show her that she could do anything. That it didn't matter where we came from or what we didn't have, that we could do anything.

Then at 26 I showed her that it was ok to fall apart, that sometimes when we make the wrong decision it's ok to make a new one and she showed me that no matter what I do do or what I don't do she loves me just the same. In that moment in my life where I realised that I didn't like the person I had become, that I didn't like the example that I set for her, she showed me that she loved me even when I couldn't love myself.

I wish I could love me the same way that she loves me. I am now 27 and after almost 22 years my sister still believes I can do anything and when I allow the love she has for me to drive me, I almost believe that she is right. She has shaped and encouraged my faith, she has shaped the way that I love and the way that I live my life. My little sister is my best friend and being her sister is the greatest privilege of my life.

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