Friday, March 16, 2012

Words I never thought I'd have to say.. Places I never thought I'd have to go.. Part 2

Just saw part 1 & realised that I didn't ever tell you part two & part two is the good stuff, the fairy tale stuff. My beautiful cousin is alive & well. Her operation was a complete success & she is slowly getting back to something that resembles a normal life. Study has started again, she just got back from a trip overseas & she has this new appreciation for life. I now live about 30 mins from her house & get the pleasure of her company quite regularly. But that is not sufficient, the detail not enough, I feel like I should share something more so I am going to share one of my favourite things to come out of this experience..

It is beautiful you know, the way that something which hits the core of who we are as a family can be used to create so much healing. During the time that my cousin was in hospital I saw whole parts of our extended family come together. I saw an empathy rise up in my dad & with that empathy came a certain amount of healing. Something changed in him during those days we were at the hospital with my cousin. He softened and strengthened all at once. The way he comforted her, spoke life directly into her fears, the way he completely understood & knew how to provide her with the exact support she needed.. It was so beautiful to see. I love my dad xo

Thursday, March 15, 2012

My old friend

Good Evening my old friend, it has been some time since I was last here & much has happened inside of that space. Weddings, moving cities, churches & jobs, deaths, births. Life has certainly been full. I have been stretched, strengthened, expanded, challenged & cherished - the later is perhaps the most beautiful & strangest part of my new life. I'm not entirely sure where to begin or what to share so instead of catching you up I will instead pretend you have been journeying with me & begin from right here in this moment...

Do you ever get that feeling, that feeling that there is something inside of you that must come out. That restless, stirring that means being still is no longer an option. The desire to do something but not just any something. You need to do the particular something that deep down inside you know you need to do.

Tonight I was lucky. We had been at the youth band rehearsal, we had originally planned to do some planning tonight so it wasn't so difficult to figure out what was going on but it's not always that easy sometimes figuring out what is bubbling inside of me is hard. Actually lately it feels like there is so much to come out that I could just write forever & I find myself starting new things all the time. Yet nothing I write seems to be it, it is all just surface stuff well that's not entirely true it is deeper than surface but it's not as deep as it goes. I mostly find this frustrating. Life is great but writing seems to constantly leave me dissatisfied, like I haven't gotten down to where I need to be. It's as if this thing inside of me is bubbling away & it's causing all this other stuff to rise to the surface, as if all of these half ideas need to come out partly expressed before I get to any of the real stuff...

Hmm so I think the new plan is to get all of the half stuff out as quickly as possible so the real good stuff can come out. Pray for me xx