Thursday, March 15, 2012

My old friend

Good Evening my old friend, it has been some time since I was last here & much has happened inside of that space. Weddings, moving cities, churches & jobs, deaths, births. Life has certainly been full. I have been stretched, strengthened, expanded, challenged & cherished - the later is perhaps the most beautiful & strangest part of my new life. I'm not entirely sure where to begin or what to share so instead of catching you up I will instead pretend you have been journeying with me & begin from right here in this moment...

Do you ever get that feeling, that feeling that there is something inside of you that must come out. That restless, stirring that means being still is no longer an option. The desire to do something but not just any something. You need to do the particular something that deep down inside you know you need to do.

Tonight I was lucky. We had been at the youth band rehearsal, we had originally planned to do some planning tonight so it wasn't so difficult to figure out what was going on but it's not always that easy sometimes figuring out what is bubbling inside of me is hard. Actually lately it feels like there is so much to come out that I could just write forever & I find myself starting new things all the time. Yet nothing I write seems to be it, it is all just surface stuff well that's not entirely true it is deeper than surface but it's not as deep as it goes. I mostly find this frustrating. Life is great but writing seems to constantly leave me dissatisfied, like I haven't gotten down to where I need to be. It's as if this thing inside of me is bubbling away & it's causing all this other stuff to rise to the surface, as if all of these half ideas need to come out partly expressed before I get to any of the real stuff...

Hmm so I think the new plan is to get all of the half stuff out as quickly as possible so the real good stuff can come out. Pray for me xx

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