Monday, July 12, 2010

The measures we use - part 2

I wrote a few weeks ago about the measures we use to measure ourselves v the measure we use to measure our friends and a dear friend of mine requested that I explore some of the ideas a little further so here we go..

Practically for this concept to work I think we need to start by understanding the way we are in our relationships with our friends v our relationship with ourselves. We need to examine the various ways each of us as individuals measure and love our friends. For me I know that with all of my friendships the first emotion I feel when I see my friends is love and that shapes the way I see everything else about them.

If my core measure for my friends is love, I wonder how different my life would be if I loved myself enough to use that measure for me? How different would our lives be if we measured ourselves with love instead of hate?

Would our lives look different if we used the same measure of love that we use for our friends when evaluating our lives? Would we feel differently when we looked at ourselves in the mirror? Would we feel better about ourselves? Would we like ourselves more? And if we did like ourselves more would we see the flaws we see now or would we see the things we find beautiful in our friends? Would you suddenly notice that you have really pretty eyes or amazing skin? Would that moment in the day be different for you and would you day be a little brighter?

And what would happen if we looked at more than what's in the mirror when looking at ourselves.. What if we looked deep inside us for the qualities we love in our friends? What if we found them and then valued them in us like we value them in our friends, how different would that look? And how different would we feel about ourselves and what we have to offer the world? Would we like ourselves more? Would we be gentler on ourselves.. or dare I say it would we grow to love ourselves..

And if we did grow to love ourselves, how different would our lives look? Would we stop focusing on the mistake of the past and instead see the lesson learnt and the person it created? Would we then be able to let go of the past and heal.. Would all of this make it easier to make healthy life changes or harder? How would it look if when deciding what needed changing we spoke to ourselves kindly and gently?

Perhaps today when you look in the mirror to get ready for the day you could put on some love for yourself when you put on your make-up.. maybe you could take a moment to work out what you value in your friends and then ask yourself if you have those qualities.. maybe you could love yourself for a moment and see if it's easier to choose the healthy life option.. maybe you could see how it feels to be loved by you xo

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