broken..

I am broken.. last year the walls that I had carefully placed around me to protect myself from the world came crashing down and I returned to Australia broken. When the walls first came down I didn't know what to do so I threw myself back into my life or slept or cried or did something self-destructive and unhealthy but at some point I realised that the walls hadn't just protected me from the world they protected me from myself and that without them I got to see me. It's scary when you see yourself for the first time in years.  

So now I am here and the person I am behind the walls is still broken but I am me and it is wonderful. Yes sometimes I feel raw and exposed and fragile but I felt that way before.. the difference is that now when I feel raw it's because I've had the courage to look at MY heart, when I feel exposed it's because I have bared my soul for something that has meaning to me and when I feel fragile it's because I've allowed myself to be vulnerable and have shown someone me.

It is only now that I can heal what needs to heal because I can see the actual wound, it's only now that I can move towards living my life's purpose because I can see what has been written on my soul but most importantly it is only now that I can release my heart to it's greatest desire because it is only now that I can clearly see my heart and loudly hear what it wants needs..

I have come to realise that if it feels like something is breaking me that's because it probably is and more importantly it probably needs to break so that whatever it is doesn't hold me back any longer. I actually enjoy allowing whatever it is to break. Recently I allowed my pride to fall to the ground and shatter into little pieces and it was hard and being truly honest left me feeling raw, exposed and fragile but it was real and it was me and it was worth it.

The people in your world deserve to see the real you, you deserve to know the real you.. I encourage you to embrace being broken, allow whatever it is to break off and fall away, at first you might be confused but eventually you will see you and that will make it all worth it. I pray that we have the courage to be broken so that we may eventually heal, to allow ourselves to be fragile and to show the world our hearts x