A little gift from an old friend

A dear friend just reminded me where I was this time last year and sent me this lovely poem with the words "THIS IS FOR YOU.///////"

Always pay attention to the dreams with in your heart,

Always have the faith to try or make a brand-new start…

I wish for you a world of joy, to share and pass along,

The gift of those who make you laugh and keep you going strong,

The knowledge that there’s meaning in the things you choose to do,

And the certainty you’re cared about for simply being you!

Today she gave me 2 gifts; the gift of reflection and progress and the gift of her heart..

I pray today that we will take the time to give someone the gift of our heart xo

One million places

My brain is in one million places today, part of it is already in Perth day-dreaming away, part of it is at home with my dog who whilst getting better is still sick and had a really bad sleep, part of it is wishing I was in bed asleep, part of me is thinking about the weird dreams I had last night, part of it is mentally packing, part creating a list of the things I need to do between now and tomorrow, part of it is making a list of everything I need to do at work, part of it is starting to process the work I need to do today. Argh! Today my brain is everywhere but right now I need it to be here in my office focusing solely on one task at a time..

If I look inward and focus on everything in front of me in the next 36 hours I will freak out but if I just put it all down and pick up one thing at a time then I think it will be manageable. Putting things down is not my strength I like to hold onto stuff, I'm used to stress and pressure and it motivates me in a sick/weird way but I've learnt that doing things that way, my way, that's the hard way.. holding onto it all, trying to do and think of everything at once; that's the heart racing, lump rising in throat, agitated way of getting everything done. It works but it also frustrates, aggravates and makes for an overall unpleasant day.

So it's time to say a quick prayer giving everything to God, exhale and then begin the mammoth tasks one bite at a time..

I believe in a church

I believe in a church where the men and women of God arise to the challenge
A church where people don't just preach Jesus they live Jesus
A place where the word of God is preached in an authentic and practical way

I believe in a church where people don't just pray for solution but where people are the solution
A church where poverty, loneliness and illness are not problems but opportunities to serve
A place where people see a need and meet it

I believe in a church that lifts up the community
A church that steps out beyond it's walls and into the homes and lives of the people
A place where engaging in the community is a way of life not a chore

I believe in a church where families grow and children flourish under the love of the father
A church where family is about more than blood and lifelong bonds are developed
A place where people do life together

I believe in a church of real honest experience, where humanity lives
A church where the old take time to teach the young the lessons they have learnt
A place where the young take the time to honour and listen

I believe in a church of faith, of hope and of love
A church where inspiration and peace dwell
A place where love lives, where lives are changed and where dreams are built

I believe in the church, in my church and your church.. I believe that
A church as strong and mighty as the people in it who are willing to rise up to the call of God, it is
A place where miracles can happen, a place where you and I can be part of the solution if we just believe...

I believe in God's church, do you?

A little adjustment goes a long way

Ok so my journey is taking on a new dimension, health *cringe*. I am not healthy. I am not as unhealthy as I once was but I'm certainly not healthy. I was all good with trashing my body in whatever way I felt like and then I stumbled upon the realisation that my body is important, that what I put in and on my body matters. I decided that I liked me enough to treat myself better, to look after this body sooo for the last few months I have been making little adjustments to my life and I'm finding that these little adjustments go a long way..

Physically I feel better than I have in a long time. I have more energy, my skin is nicer to touch and nicer to look at. I feel nourished and alive. My head is clearer, I am more alert less blah and all because of simple changes in my diet like:

1. replacing the white with brown;
2. removing the sugar from my 5 bowls of black tea per day (knowing my love of tea some beautiful girlfriends got me a giant tea cup for my birthday) then slowly cutting down from 5 bowls of tea to 1 maybe 2 on a rough day and a little (normal) cup if any on weekends;
3. waking up on Saturday mornings and heading to West End Markets for a lovely walk in the sun and top stock up on fruit and vegies;
4. adding vegies to almost every meal I make from spaghetti to eggs on toast - in the last 2 weeks my food has had more vegies than anything else;
5. choosing the organic option when I can - from eggs to flour to milk;
6. eating fruit (for me this is something that I only started doing recently :s);
7. cooking and baking so that I know what I'm eating;
8. just thinking about what I'm putting in and not how it's going to make me feel right now but how I'm going to feel in 1 hr, 2 hrs etc.

Most people would read this and go "yeah of course you feel better" or "I know all of that" but for me this is part of my journey. It's about understanding my body and what works for it, not following some diet but trying different food combinations and seeing what works for me. For example I love carbs, carbs work for me but carbs with lots of farm fresh vegies works better. It's about making time to make the choices that mean I am looking after me and food is only part of the process, I am also taking steps to change what I put on my skin.

It all started with mineral make-up, it then moved to certified organic body moisturiser and most recently (today) certified organic deodorant (no more spraying aluminium right next to my breasts). I heard Holly Wagner say the other day that "if you can't eat it don't put it on your skin" (scary thought.. imagine eating your mascara or drinking your liquid foundation eww) but she has a point. How many of us stop long enough to think about what we put on our bodies and how much of what goes on our skin seeps in.

For me it's not about going through my house and throwing everything out and starting again but simply replacing products with smarter, healthier options. It's about education and manageable change. I am starting to investigate healthier option now so that when one product runs out I know what I'm replacing it with. For example I know the shampoo brand that I am going to buy in like 3 weeks when my shampoo runs out. I know it's organic, made in Australia (reduction in carbon footprint which is also important to me) and most importantly I know it does it's job and is nice on my hair because it's the same brand my hairdresser uses when I get my hair done. This is what I call a win, win, win change and it's easy :D
 
I guess what I'm realising is that we have options and that those options make a difference to us now, to our bodies in the future and to our planet. We are so lucky with the choices we have, organic products are in demand and are getting better every day and the information we need to make smart choices is at our fingertips so we are more informed than ever before.. it seems to me like now is the perfect time to start making little adjustments.

I pray that this week we take a moment to look in our pantries and bathroom cupboards and see if there are any little adjustments we can make to invest in a healthier future for our bodies and our planet :)

** for the sake of full disclosure I feel I should tell you that shortly after pressing "publish post" I purchased a bar of chocolate from the vending machine. I did resist the urge to make a cup of tea to drink with my chocolate and I will eat the chocolate over the next day or so but nevertheless I am currently allowing a small piece of dairy milk to dissolve into my tongue.

A quiet moment of perfection

I love today. I am not entirely sure why because it's 7.45am and I had a really bad nights sleep but it doesn't seem to matter because for some reason I love today. Maybe it was the quiet moment I stole this morning. I got off the bus at Southbank and walked over the bridge into the city. On that walk I fell a little bit in love with today.. I am sure that there is something different about the air today. It tasted different, it was lighter, fresher and easier to breathe. I can still feel it lingering in my body as I sit in my stale air conditioned office. The air seems to be softly swimming around my body and its lovely.. I can still feel the crispness of the gentle wind that kissed my face as I walked down the mall, it was that perfect spring wind.. you know the kind, it only happens after a few days of rain, it's not the cold harsh winter wind but the fresh wind of spring that seems to signify life after the rain. I allowed that gently life to kiss my body awake this morning, if I close my eyes I can almost feel it's touch.. Heaven. There was even a softness to the sky this morning, it was gentle, surreal as I walked towards my office.. perhaps it was because the sun had not quite made it through the clouds and had illuminated the sky a magical pale blue/grey. Beautiful. Truly beautiful. Hmm the peaceful serenity of a quick morning walk on a perfect spring day, does it get any better than this?

I pray that I can take this feeling and let it shape my day so that I don't get lost in the world as I go about doing the stuff that must be done but that I instead dwell in the peace of my quiet time xo

My Sister

My sister is my best friend. She has been my best friend since she was born. I was at the hospital when she arrived and we've been somewhat inseparable ever since. She has that place in my heart that can only be occupied by a sister. Sometimes I love her so much that I think my heart will burst with joy, other times I love her so much I want to shake her until she sees sense but no matter what I love her completely. She is one of my favourite people to spend time with and one of the few people that I can do anything with and still have fun. She knows me, sometimes better than I know myself and I trust her with my life. I know without a doubt that she would do anything for me if it meant that I would be spared from pain and I would do anything for her. She is my inspiration.

From the moment I set eyes on the wrinkly little creature with her big brown eyes, her head of dark hair and her tiny little face, I knew that my life would be forever changed. I knew that no longer was I Melinda the only child, I was now a big sister. Being a big sister has shaped my life, it has made me a better person.

At five and a half I knew that my life would be better because of this little girl and at 27 I know that to be true. For almost 22 years I have had this beautiful little girl watch my every move, I am her example, the person she watches to determine what to do and what not to do and that has driven me.

Sometimes it has driven me made like when we were playing barbies when at 8 and I discovered the joys of having a little sister who wanted to play with every doll I touched. At 8 I couldn't appreciate that she just wanted to be like me because she loved me, instead the madness of not being able to play with my favourite doll eventually this drove me to play with the crap barbie first because she would demand to play with whatever I had picked up first and if I played with the crap barbie first she would play with the crap barbie all day (clearly I was not nice at 8). It also drove me mad when I at 13 thought I was too cool to play with her anymore and I just wanted to be with my friends. At that time I discovered the joy of having a little sister who wanted to sit in my room with me and my friends while we read magazines and talked about boys only to have her later tell my mum everything we spoke about (oh the horror!). I have a million stories of how she drove me mad.

But amongst all the madness I never stopped loving her and I remember wanting her to know that she could do anything, that the only limitation was her mind. The only way I knew to teach her to do anything was to live it myself, so I did. I said yes to everything that looked fun, to everything that you were supposed to want. As a teenager I did drama and debating and art and all sorts of stuff. As a young adult I went out and got a career, I dragged her along travelling, I dragged her out to foreign films, to the theatre, to nice restaurants. I went out and achieved as much as I could to show her that she could do anything. That it didn't matter where we came from or what we didn't have, that we could do anything.

Then at 26 I showed her that it was ok to fall apart, that sometimes when we make the wrong decision it's ok to make a new one and she showed me that no matter what I do do or what I don't do she loves me just the same. In that moment in my life where I realised that I didn't like the person I had become, that I didn't like the example that I set for her, she showed me that she loved me even when I couldn't love myself.

I wish I could love me the same way that she loves me. I am now 27 and after almost 22 years my sister still believes I can do anything and when I allow the love she has for me to drive me, I almost believe that she is right. She has shaped and encouraged my faith, she has shaped the way that I love and the way that I live my life. My little sister is my best friend and being her sister is the greatest privilege of my life.

Old wounds need healing

You think that by now I would realise that God knows best. That by now I would be used to him taking my deepest thoughts, raising them to the surface (through all the hurt and pain that I had piled over top in order to bury them so deep) and helping me examine them. You would think that by now I would not be surprised when he dredges up old wounds in a bid to help me understand the wound so that he can heal it. It's something that he does so regularly that you would think by now I would get it but I don't.

I am still surprised by the things that get raised to the surface, things that I thought I had dealt with, things that I thought I was ok with but then when he shows them to me I realise that I am not ok. When I examine these moments in the light of his presence, when we look together at the decision that was made in response to the situation and the way that decisions has shaped my life, in that moment I am undone. When I look at my reaction and the way it has shaped my world, the way it has invited pain into my life.. I am amazed. Life happens and I get that but I find myself continually learning that the choices I have made when life happens those choices define me. They define the way I feel about myself, the way I feel about others, the way I feel about my past, the way I feel about my future, the way I feel about love.

As I walk on this journey with God and he shows me these choices I continue to be amazed at how a small decision that I made, sometimes as a child, has so dramatically defined my life. How I have taken those decisions and built on them, never questioning, always building and sometimes I discover that I have piled so much on top of it that I don't even remember what the first decision looks like.

I think this is something that we all do and I wonder if we took the time to examine the beliefs we hold as true, if we took a moment to look at them to question where they came from, to see how they had shaped our lives.. I wonder how many of them would still be true. I wonder how many of them we would keep? I wonder how many of them we would change? I wonder if we would feel differently about ourselves and our capacity to give and receive love?

I pray that this week we take a moment to allow God to step in and bring to the surface defining moments in our lives and that in that moment we allow him to show us how that moment has shaped and changed us, to allow him to heal us xx