tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5093301170945754035.post8640590018362816631..comments2015-11-30T11:45:54.522+10:00Comments on an indelible change: Reflections: letting go of the golden childMelinda Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13139560714240982789noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5093301170945754035.post-62796258015176593372013-06-09T18:53:41.638+10:002013-06-09T18:53:41.638+10:00My story is different in that I wasn't really ...My story is different in that I wasn't really a golden child in my abusive family. If anything I was more like a black sheep. But I relate to this feeling of lostness. I was abused throughout my childhood. But am coming to realise that though the abuse I suffered as a young child wasn't my fault, as a teenager some of it was. I've seen myself as a victim for so long I've had to remind myself that although my parents could be abusive I was a difficult child and I had borderline personality disorder so I think I believed I was entitled for my parents to validate me and show me more love than they did. But am realising that I was asking for more than I deserved and so much of the things I wanted their sympathy and attention for were things I needed to be tougher over. For eg I was molested by a stranger and my parents dismissed it and I felt outraged but I wasn't raped so the molestation didn't warrant sympathy and attention. My parents did pray with me after the attack that I would forgive the molester etc. So they did care. My father was verbally and physically abusive that is true and that did scar me but him not loving me or validating me enough? Nah. That is just me being oversensitive. I was a difficult teen with a thin skin and I needed to be roughed up a bit. It is so hard for me to let go of the belief that I was wronged. But as a teenager a lof of my abuse WAS my fault. I believe God is showing me that. Its hard. So I read your prayer and prayed it. Don't know what the result will be. Am scared. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com